I feel like I'm pregnant,  not physically mind you, but in a more mental sort of way.  You see I'm expecting a immanent delivery,  of a boat I recently purchased and like an expectant mother all I can think of is what shall I name this vessel.  I should be somewhat of an old pro at this as this is my fourteenth boat.  But of the thirteen previous boats, only three actually got named.  For various reasons ten didn't rate the naming process.  This one surely does as it's current name, as deigned by it's previous owner and is emblazoned on the transom is Doris Eileen.  What the heck is that all about.  Does he have two wives and is in violation of the Boat Name Game Commission (the BNGC for short)?  Or maybe it's his Mother and his Mother-in-Law's names, the big sissy!  What ever, it will not be on MY boat's transom.  The problem is that I have forgotten the rules of the Boat Name game.  I know that men with inferiority complexes like My Way (basically guys who haven't earned much in the way of respect) and all the macho racers (who haven't ever won a race) and like macho names like Rambo and Intruder amongst others.  Then we have the overly sensitive guys with wishy washy names like The Love Boat, or (oh no) Mom's Mink.

  Maybe I should review the BNGC's rules.

  1) A boat is referred to as female and should have a female name.

  2) How about a water fowl?  Nah. Already too many Herons, Egrets, and Ospreys!

  3) Make it Nautical.  You mean like Wet Dr...Nah.  That's nasty.

  4) Ethereal, like Cloud Nine. Yuck!

  Well, I don't think these rules are of much help.  How about the names of the three boats I did name.  Maybe that'll help.  First named boat, was an O'day 22.  We were nearly hippies back then and we named her Roundabout like the rock song by Yes.  That's kind of out of date, nowadays.  The second boat was Chain Reaction so named because my business was making Gold Chain for the Jewelry industry and which provided the funding for that boat.  And my third named boat was a Zodiac dinghy called CR TOO .  Well I'm retired now so maybe I could call her something like my current status.  Lazy SOB comes to mind, Polly's mind at that, and I have been considering Unchained but someone might think I just got divorced. 

  I was pretty well set with Opus, after the quirky penguin from the Bloom County comic strip, but that Opus is a male, and that would break Rule #1.  Hey!  Wait a minute!  I've got it.  Yeah, this is perfect.  I like it!  I think you will too, when you see it!